If I die today, tomorrow, days after today or whenever, really. I want everyone that matters to know that I'm happy and I am more than contented, and grateful for everyone.
5 years after, I am here again. My head hurts, my heart is pounding so fast, I hear voices, my body aches. I thought I was over it, I thought all of these are long forgotten already.
If I die, I don't want anyone, and I mean no one, to cry. My life is a blessing, if not to anyone else, then I can say that it has been a blessing for me.
I want to wear my casual clothes in my burial, Ivann would know what that is. It should be simple. I don't want my Parents, especially my Nanay, spending money on it. I spent too much of that in my lifetime already.
I wanna be cremated. I want people to be able to get a piece of me, people who wants to, of course.
Violet.
If you read this, and if I am gone, please hug my family for me. Tell them that I love all of them. Tell Nanay how much I love her, how thankful I am for having her as my Nanay. Tell my brothers to always take care of my Nanay and Ate, tell them that I am so proud of what they've became. Tell my sister to always take care, that she is my idol and I adore her more than anyone else. Lastly, please hug my father for me, tell him that I apologize for whatever I did wrong, that I am very sorry and I love him.
Tell them how much I love them, until the last day and even after that.
I am hurting. I am hurting and I don't have anyone else to talk to. I wanna be strong, but I don't know if I can do it anymore..
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