If I Die Young.

If I die today, tomorrow, days after today or whenever, really. I want everyone that matters to know that I'm happy and I am more than contented, and grateful for everyone.

5 years after, I am here again. My head hurts, my heart is pounding so fast, I hear voices, my body aches. I thought I was over it, I thought all of these are long forgotten already.

If I die, I don't want anyone, and I mean no one, to cry. My life is a blessing, if not to anyone else, then I can say that it has been a blessing for me.

I want to wear my casual clothes in my burial, Ivann would know what that is. It should be simple. I don't want my Parents, especially my Nanay, spending money on it. I spent too much of that in my lifetime already.

I wanna be cremated. I want people to be able to get a piece of me, people who wants to, of course.

Violet.

If you read this, and if I am gone, please hug my family for me. Tell them that I love all of them. Tell Nanay how much I love her, how thankful I am for having her as my Nanay. Tell my brothers to always take care of my Nanay and Ate, tell them that I am so proud of what they've became. Tell my sister to always take care, that she is my idol and I adore her more than anyone else. Lastly, please hug my father for me, tell him that I apologize  for whatever I did wrong, that I am very sorry and I love him.

Tell them how much I love them, until the last day and even after that.

I am hurting. I am hurting and I don't have anyone else to talk to. I wanna be strong, but I don't know if I can do it anymore..

Friendship Over.

Breaking up with your special someone, be it a girl or a boy, is one thing but breaking up with a friend is another.

All throughout my life, I've had many friends that I am now not friends with anymore. People told me that this is just how life is. People change, I have to accept that. But what if this time, I wanna change the equation and be the one to tell them or better yet make them feel that I don't wanna be friends with them anymore?

I've always been the understanding one. I've always been the forgiving one. Even with friends who made me look bad to other people.

So I wanna know, are there any tips for moving on with this kind of relationship? How do you guys even do it?

Earlier, I was contemplating on posting about "5 Ways to Break Up with Your Friends.", but I ended up just posting a different take and just letting my emotion get the best of me. I guess I wasn't that knowledgeable about all this stuff after all.

Please do let me know.


with love,
Lily Jeciel.

daiLY.

Here's another daiLY post from me. Where I just basically do a recap of my instagram posts.

From top to bottom.

♡ New notebook I bought at Lucina (they're located in Ayala Mall Serin Tagaytay, ground floor). I just fell in love with this notebook that I had to have it.
♡ Selfie, because why not?
♡ Another selfie I took. I just love how my face is cooperating with me all of a sudden this past few days.
♡ Spent the day with my friends at Crosswind Tagaytay. That place is just so chill and lovely. Perfect for just chilling and all.
♡ Side selfie. Angle is perfect, so I posted it.
♡ Half face selfie. Love this kind of selfie, to be honest, because eyebags.
♡ Sinigang na hipon that my sister cooked. Requested it and she actually cooked!!!
♡ Went to Mabini, Batangas again with the family. Spent 2 days just chilling and enjoying ourselves. 
♡ Throwback selfie. I just miss my old thin body.

with love,
LilyJeciel.

Most Beautiful Word.

Whenever someone would ask me what the most beautiful word for me is I always go for "LOVE". I mean, it's not like I've given it much thought.

Today though, I've realized that the word "LOVE" is not what I actually consider the most beautiful word anymore.

"MOTHER". As simple as that. I feel like I don't even have to explain it.


with love,
Lily.

Fashion related post.

Click le picture for its full size goodness.

I am just too obsessed with the dress + sneakers trend right now that I am more than willing to exchange all of my shorts and pants for every possible dress I can find. I am actually contemplating on sorting out my old clothes, having a garage sale or selling them online to have enough fund for a new wardrobe (full of dress, sneakers, and leather or denim jackets).

I feel like this trend is just so comfortable like one will feel like she's just wearing PJ's all day but actually still look adorable and dressed up at it. Hehehe.

So obviously you guys can tell that I spent countless number of hours on Pinterest and Tumblr. This is just so real, guys. Ahhh.

with love,
Lily.

Leaving this here.

Last January 12, I lost a very special person in my life. My bestfriend, "boyfriend", the one who told me to just live my life to the fullest, the person whom I've been very close to for such a short period of time.

I was so confused, sad, and angry when I learned about him passing. Up until now, I still can't believe that he's gone. I ranted at Twitter and Facebook, I know that I shouldn't have done that, but I don't know what else to do.

It was all very sudden. I've taken for granted our friendship. I thought he'll just be there and I can just contact him whenever but all of that is gone now. I won't be seeing him again, I won't be able to hear his laugh, all of his crazy ideas.

He was such a good soul. He treated me like his own sister.

Why am I even saying this stuff here? He won't know about it and he won't be able to read this anyway.

But if ever...

Tol, 

Jonathan Emil Montoya Gamboa!!! I'll miss you everyday. 

with love,
Lily Jeciel.